Thursday, 11 August 2011

Free stuff

Yesterday didn’t start well – obviously sucked into the vacuum of criminality that’s been sweeping our streets – I managed to inadvertently steal a pregnant woman’s iPhone which appeared in my hand bag this morning. On the way back from returning it, I parked in a disabled bay by mistake and got told off for talking too loudly in the relaxation area of the beauty spa where I went for my friend’s birthday. 

It was a slippery slope from that point on. Everyone else was doing it, so why shouldn’t I take the opportunity. So I went to get some free stuff – and went blackberrying, taking my trusty hooker with me!

It was sick (or is it sic or sik?) – which apparently in street terms means it was really good. Well done David Cameron with your ‘Sick Society’. I’m sure you’ve made a few hoodies giggle with that one.

When I say blackberrying, I don’t mean nicking mobile phones, I mean going and standing in the middle of a load of brambles and going all Nigella by plundering a rich vein of black juicyness.

Several ice cream tubs later and with on-line guidance, by the power of alchemy I transformed it into the most amazing blackberry coulis which we ate with ice cream. It was delicious and even better, it was free!

Blackberry Coulis Recipe 

I can’t understand why more people don’t do this. Too busy watching telly or shopping, buying a pale imitation in a fancy jar for a small fortune? Whatever, it was good fun, it cost nothing and it tasted amazing.

So with all the pictures of grim stuff recently that shows society and our country at its absolute worst. This was my back yard yesterday - a small yard in Manchester, one of thousands up and down the land. This is my piece of England and its beautiful!

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